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Lady in the Water (2006)

Genre: Fantasy/Mystery

Director: M. Night Shyamalan

Certificate: Lady in the Water was rated 12A by the Irish Film Censor's Office (www.ifco.ie) i.e. suitable for those of 12 years of age or upwards. Persons under 12 must be accompanied by an adult.

Violence = moderate. Drugs = mild. Sex/Nudity = mild. Language = mild.

OFFICIAL WEBSITE:  Lady in the Water

  Review

Dear, oh dear, oh dear… I’ve never been a great admirer of M Night Shyamalan with the exception of The Village, which most people hated but I really liked, but his follow up is just bloody dreadful.

Paul Giamatti plays Cleveland Heep (honest) who is a caretaker for a block of flats surrounding a swimming pool.  One night he sees someone swimming after dark (which isn't allowed) but he slips on the poolside and wakes up in his apartment with a young girl.  She is called Story (Bryce Dallas Howard who was so good in The Village) and calls herself a Narf (which handily rhymes with barf - which is what you'll feel like doing by the end of the film).

Lady In The Water
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Cleveland discovers that the Narfs are fairytale legends about creatures who communicate with Man and make them better people (or something).  To stop the Narfs doing this, evil spirits called Scrunts attack them (I am not making this up) and after one such attack Cleveland enlists the help of his fellow tenants to save Story - which they agree to do (rather than have him committed as a raving lunatic).  Things just go from bad to worse for the viewer if not for the rest of the cast.

Now I'm not adverse to suspending disbelief and entering magical worlds but Lady in the Water is so badly done with a script that is so laugh out loud - for all the wrong reasons.  The only decent bit is a film critic (Bob Balaban) who gets to cast the rest of the characters as types and does a quite amusing Scream type analysis but that aside there is really very little comfort to be had.  It’s interesting that one character who is a visionary writer gets played by Shyamalan himself - who obviously sees himself as a visionary film-maker.  I suspect he needs a change of prescription at the opticians at this rate. 

And what on earth persuaded Giamatti to take on this nonsense - a fine actor whose career will hopefully recover.  Lady in the Water is easily one of the worst movies I've seen all year and a couple of hours of my life I can never get back.

Reviewed by George Kaplan, Premier Movie Reviews 2007.

RELATED MOVIE REVIEWS: M. NIGHT SHYAMALAN: Signs,  The Village,  Unbreakable.  BRYCE DALLAS HOWARD: The Grinch,  The Village.  JEFFREY WRIGHT: Syriana,  The Manchurian Candidate.  BOB BALABAN: Gosford Park.

Main Cast

Paul Giamatti

Bryce Dallas Howard

Jeffrey Wright

Bob Balaban

Sarita Choudhury

RATING

To be Avoided !

LamE  ducK !

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